Frankly My Dear...

I am feeling a little lonely tonight so I decided to watch a sappy movie...Gone With the Wind. Probably the sappiest movie next to Sleepless in Seattle or The Way We Were.

What great lessons and quotes these old movies had...even some of the "new classics".

"You need to be kissed and kissed often and by someone who knows how."
"God made sin so that we might know the light of His mercy"
"Never side against the family..."
"The pain that you feel...it only can heal...by living. You have to go on living..." (ok...tv show but it still counts)
"Never leave a fellow crasher behind."

I am sure there are lots of others that I just can't recall right now, but where do these writers come up with them? Like life secrets...well at least that is how I see them. Which ones mean something to you? What guidance do you seek when making desicions? What movie has molded your actions?

Turning the Other Cheek

So when you are hurt you probably either get sad or angry. Probably both in the end. Depending on the intensity of the pain...what kind of actions do you take? Do you hold back from action and just hold a grudge? Do you act and possibly regret it later.

"If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic." Luke 6:29

Archaic or life truth? Well I am sure there are a million and one scholars that each have proof that their opinion is the best but what is best for me? They say that girls hold grudges more than boys. I can see the emotion...Lord knows I have enough emotion to last a life time. But wouldn't it be better for my sanity...my karma...my soul? Sure but can I do it...

These are the questions that go through my mind...day and night. I haven't slept well for a while now and I have been "sleeping" longer hours recently. I don't know that the "stab" is one that would not make most people cringe in pain, but I have taken it very personally. And every day I have to see the "stabber" and have to pretend that I'm not hurt. Continue to be nice so that things go smoothly and biting my tongue when I really rather yell. Should I have to endure or does it make me a better person to go through this challenge? I think only time will tell...

The Waiting Game

There are many things in life that you just have to learn on your own, right? Algebra class teaches equations, coaches teach batting skills, musicians learn scales. But where do you learn how to handle...jail.

That is right I said jail. What do you do when you get arrested? Who do you call? What is bail? What is a bond? Do they accept credit cards or just money orders? How many phone calls do I get? Who loves me enough to help foot the bill? And all of these just the tip of the iceberg while you are trying not to get some disease from you "roommates".

Just like at a store or at a restaurant...I would think you could ask questions of the people working and get some helpful answers. WRONG!!! Not only do you not want to be there but they REALLY don't want to be there, and they are not going to waste their time talking to you when they could be staring at the paint dry on the wall.

As you can probably tell...I have had a recent experience in a detention center. Not me personally so I can't say exactly how bad it could be but I am sadly disappointed at the city employees who care nothing for helping to improve our city. I am sure that most of them are jaded by dealing with people who don't care to better themselves. However, when I am not the person in the cell please treat me politely, please.

For those of you who don't know anything about dealing with jail. ASK QUESTIONS. But don't piss them off! It is a very thin line but they can shoot you down when you think you are almost done and they don't give a #$@#. Patience is definitely not my strongest suit but I have gained a little more over the past 24 hours.

For those of you waiting for the juicy details...there really aren't any. Friend in jail because of a warrant for outstanding tickets. Waitied 4 hours in the detention center. Paid the very large and unexpected balance of the ticket (w/ credit card) and then went home to sleep for 3 hours before getting up for work. Told you...not that interesting...

Attention Hog?

Ok...so just to preface this post...I am a little buzzed. Not enough to make an embarrassing comment but enough to probably hold back.

Now...I was out, obviously, at a happy hour. There was a really long table and most of the people that I ended up with at the table were ones that I didn't really know. Now I took this as a challenge and started trying to set up a conversation. I was some what successful but there were plenty of times where the conversation lagged. You know what I mean..."um's"...staring at the ceiling...looking around...chugging your drink. I get uncomfortable and I always think that the others at the table are uncomfortable. Am I just paranoid? Is it that I am self-conscience about not talking that I can't stand the silence. I don't think I care about it when I am with friends that have known for a while...but with new people...I guess I feel like I have to keep the conversation going.

Does anyone else feel this way...do I need a therapist? I don't know but I am pretty sure my buzz is dying so I definitely need another drink.

To love or not to love...

I had a friend tell me today that her and her girlfriend were talking about having a baby. This would usually have over joyed me because I like baby's but I was too busy being confused. Not more than 2 weeks ago she was telling me how "Betty" (girlfriend) was getting on her nerves...always crying...too sensitive. My friend, "Veronica", as you can tell is not so emotional. She use to be a big time player and some how was domesticated by Betty.

So I asked Veronica "Do you love her?" She said "Yeah, she is good to me and understands me." I refused to accept her response as an answer..."But do you love her?" She hesitated a little and then defiantly said "Yes, of course." Maybe I am just reading too much into it but I would be very sad if a boy talked about me in that way...especially if we were talking kids...and I assume marriage. I don't know her true feelings, but I hope they are sincere...for both their sakes.

Why is it so hard to be different...and yet try to be compatible? I think that differences are what make the relationship...hit the mark. I am looking for a word to better describe it but I can't seem to settle on one. Glow...harmonize...ring...I think you understand. Of course there is the problem of getting that one right person that balances you...but is the balance accomplished from tolerating your significant others "faults" or is it loving them in spite of them? I'd like to think the latter was a test of true love but those of you who know me know I live in fantasy land and not reality.

Here is to finding that love...my ying...my harmony...

Sing with me...

I was watching "Hello, Dolly!" tonight and noticing how different the generations are. Not only is that generation (1960's) different from mine (1970-1980's) but think about today's kids. My niece loves High School Musical and sings every word and dances every step (well does her best). And I think...man...what is she thinking.

Then I was sitting here tonight signing and rewinding (thanks TIVO) some of the songs in the movie and thinking...man what am I thinking. I love to sing too and just because it isn't teenagers dancing in a country club...that doesn't make my stuff any different. I am also a Buffy fanatic and I recently recorded the musical eposide ("Once More, With Feeling") and rewatch it every other day. I am hooked on Spike but what can I say except that I have a different version but it is still HSM...

What is your favorite sing-a-long? Movie, tv, series...not radio song...something with a visual (music video's don't count in this one).

Life is a song

Funny how traditions change over time. I am a big believer in tradition but I can't seem to keep mine. For example, my family has this huge binder full of old recipes that they made when they were little...you know...traditional mexican meals...made with love. And yet...I decide that eating out is better because I like hambergers or because I am "too busy".

I spent the evening with my mom and together (in about 1 hour) we made enchiladas, rice, and beans from scratch. Fresh sqeezed lemonade and ice tea. No tortillas because we aren't going to kid ourselves. But the rest was better than any restaurant I have been to lately and believe me in my city...there are some good ones.

In that small amount of time (beat that Rachel Ray) I learned more about my mom and grandma. Not that I am not curious...I ask about those stories but it meant more hearing them as we were cooking. I almost cried thinking about the time I waste daily not treasuring our time together...the onions probably helped but it was mostly the sentiment.

New Year's resolution? I hope to look at it as habit more than effort. Time to gain the knowledge that the prior generations worked so hard to gain. I want to make it worth their while...including those yummy enchiladas.